It’s every parent’s nightmare. No one wants to believe that their little baby might be involved in anything so unsavory and dangerous as drug use. It could be anything; weed, pills, coke, meth, heroin, maybe even something you can’t identify. I doesn’t necessarily matter what you found. The problem is the same: your son is using drugs.
The next step would be to determine how bad the problem might be. The occasional puff of a joint is obviously not as serious as a daily heroin habit, and so you can make at least a rudimentary determination based on what you found, and how much of the drug is there. The presence of drugs in your son’s room means that he has moved on from using the drugs of his friends to purchase and keep drugs himself, for personal, often private, use. This can indicate that an occasional event might have become more serious, such as daily use. Abuse of any drug is scary, but daily use is even more so. Daily use is a classic sign of a budding addiction.
It is always good to ask a professional for advice before you approach your son about his drug use. It is wise to understand, unless you have a history of drug use yourself, that you know little about this matter, and it is a delicate situation. You run the risk of distancing your son if you approach him in a confrontational, aggressive manner, but at the same time you want to express your disapproval of drug use, and determine how serious the problem might be.
A mature discussion is what is required. Your son feels guilty on some level for using drugs that he knows are wrong, and for hiding it from you, the people that love him most. He needs to feel that he is in a safe space to discuss his drug use openly, and without fear. Come from a place of love and concern. It is paramount that you avoid a fight as much as you can, and maintain a relaxed demeanor. This will allow him to be more open with you.
After determining the degree with which your son uses drugs, you can proceed. If it turns out that he is only using a small amount of marijuana occasionally, and there are no apparent signs to indicate otherwise, you may decide that what’s best may be therapy or an intensive outpatient program to educate him on the dangers of drug use. If the problem turns out to be more serious, such as daily use, or the discovery of harder drugs, you may need to consider that your son has become a drug addict, and you may consider admitting him to a residential treatment facility.
Most of the time, your son will not want to do anything about his drug use, unless he knows that he has a problem and wants help. A fight may ensue, but once again, it is important to maintain a calm demeanor, even in the midst of such a terrifying prospect. Express your desire for what is best for your son, but be firm that you are not going to support such behavior.
An intervention may be necessary if the problem is severe enough. Such an event should be monitored closely by someone who has experience with interventions.
It is a horrible thought that your son may be addicted to drugs, but don’t panic! There are solutions, even for the most seemingly hopeless of cases. There are facilities and programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous that exist to help your son overcome his problem.